So I was covering an event last night and something happened that has not happened before.
I felt a bit of an outcast. I mean, I’ve felt like one before but that can be due to my own wierdness, or ‘quirks’ as kind people call them.
Yesterday I felt that it was because I’m female.
It’s something that was quite wierd because I’ve not experienced it in the music/journo world thus far. I think I dealt with it, maybe not 100 percent productively but as much as I could. If one person doesn’t respond to you well, no matter how warm and friendly you naturally are/try to appear, go and find someone else who will! Perhaps that person who has had previous reservations will change their mind and if they don’t then take your talent elsewhere.
Sometimes I wonder if I should change what I wear, my appearance etc… I don’t wear jeans which is pretty much BBC uniform but that to me is because of practicality. I have sensitive skin, jeans make me itch! Also, I don’t think I’ll ever find a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly. However, dresses suit me fine. I’m not a ‘Barbie’ (not that anything is wrong with being really girly) but it strikes me that if you appear feminine, sometimes people take offence.
For example, at Lounge on the Farm I had a bright pink two man tent purely because it was the cheapest tent in the shop that I could find, ten pounds. I had the festival next day and it was the only one left. When I was sat in the tent at the festival campsite I constantly heard people going past my tent making silly, childish remarks about it. Since when did people care enough to get all ‘NME’ on my tent!
When I returned home after the event last night I felt quite exhausted with the whole ‘keeping up appearances’ element of the evening. I could have flung myself onto my bed and let everything out but I decided to ‘take the evening with a pinch of salt’ and have a good read instead!