Happy International Women’s Day to my fellow women in esports!

On Friday 8th March I kick off my guest appearance on LEC in Berlin.

It also happens to be International Women’s Day while I’m here – a public holiday in Germany – so I wanted to take the opportunity and say thank you to my fellow women in esports and gaming. Some I’m lucky to call friends – and all of them are inspiring.

I first discovered how utterly brilliant women in this industry are working on the League of Legends World’s coverage back in 2015 (sorry, yes I know I mention this quite a lot). Julia Hardy was presenting online videos, including interviews with the players, and as we roamed around Wembley Arena, she introduced me to Becca Henry and Kirsty Endfield who were working with Riot at the time – Henry is now VP of Communications for Misfits, while Endfield runs her own gaming PR agency, Swipe Right PR. We also walked past Eefje “Sjokz” Depoortere, who was hosting the show, and Julia explained just how much Depoortere was (and still is) loved and respected by the LoL community.

When I moved from the BBC to Twitch, Brit Weisman was always there to show me how to slay at work, leading by example on the Twitch Studios team – I miss putting the world to rights with her over frequent Google Hangout meetings. She gave me courage in my convictions and still has my back. One of the other highlights of being at gaming expos is being able to catch up with Twitch Marketing Managers Kelsey Christou and Caroline Westberg – I have no idea how they run massive projects, whilst also managing incessant requests for Twitch party wristbands… I also had the opportunity to work alongside producer and zombie slayer Mary Kish and Nadja Otikor – the latter of whom taught me about “keeping my poops in a group”. I also met one of my favourite people in the entire world, publicist Rochelle Snyder, while working on a PUBG-focused documentary (which Mary also helped to produce on location at the Game Awards in LA).

From initially working with the ESL UK team as a Twitch producer, to working for them as a host, I’ve witnessed Caroline Oakes go from taking care of the business side of things, to front of camera as an esports host for events like the ESL UK Premiership – she’s recently joined PCGamesN as a full-time presenter.

While at Twitch I also worked with Anna Robinson – one of the best public speakers I’ve ever witnessed – and started to meet esports hosts like Rachel “Seltzer” Quirico (who can turn her hand to any esport) and Kelly Link, whose positive energy radiates onstage. Kelly was one of the first people to tell me she thought I could be a good host – I’ve never forgotten it.

Producing one of my first event stages for Twitch gave me the opportunity to work with Soe Gschwind-Penski – who I’d go on to team up with at the Overwatch World Cup at Blizzcon 2018 (along with Emily Tang, Mica Burton and Fiona Nova) and is, quite frankly, and icon for young esports fans around the world, and Marcelle “Nysira” de Bie, who is finding deserved success with her own motoring show in her native Netherlands. The following year I’d end up loving Paola “Pancakepow” Alejandra‘s energy on the Twitch x gamescom 2018 stage, as I booked her alongside the multi-talented ShannaNina.

After I was booked for the DreamHack Austin PUBG Showdown last year and the standard talent WhatsApp group was setup, Lauren “Pansy” Scott was the first to welcome me on board. At the afterparty, I got to properly meet Sue “Smix” Lee for the first time, as producer Dagny Veinberg bought us a round of the largest shots I have ever seen. (No regrets, Dagny.)

It was a month later that I finally met Sjokz in person – grabbing the lift to the dressing room at the Mercedes-Benz arena at PGI Berlin, she ran up to the lift just to tell me she thought I was doing a great job. We’ve kept in touch ever since (and I shall lobby for her to host every Esports Awards henceforth so we can have more nights out in London). Having her seal of approval means everything as she’s an inspiration for pretty much every host in the biz – and I really hope we get to appear at the same event in future.(Tournament organisers, that is definitely a hint.)

Awards shows are great places to actually meet other women in the industry – at the Esports Awards I first met regular LEC interviewer Laure Valée, while the Stockholm International Esport Awards was where I initially encountered League analyst Froskurinn – who I’ll be working with this weekend.

Something I observed at IEM was the constant comments on Reddit and HLTV that were desperate to complain and compare me to other women in my field. The thing that no one seemed to observed is that we were all there! Smix hosted the Starcraft II finals – including a beautiful winner’s interview, and Freya Spiers brought her trademark class and knowledge to the Intel Challenge stage. Other women rocking it in Katowice were Sheever (when does she ever give less than 110%?) reporting for Dota 2, and Lottie Van-Praag curating Miss Harvey and Potter on the Intel Challenge desk. To my delight, I was lucky enough to bump into Ukrainian StarLadder host Tonya Predko backstage as she filmed with Na’Vi, and I got to catch-up behind-the-scenes with ESL UK member Kat, ESL Junior Product Manager Sabrina, ESL Poland Product Manager Marlena and ESL UK’s Head of Communications Heather “Naysayerz” Dower. (There are a HUGE number of women working behind-the-scenes in esports.)

This year I’m going to try and work harder on featuring women on my interview series My Life in Pixels – so far we’ve had Ray Gaskin – who has since left Red Bull to head up esports at Right Formula, Rochelle Snyder, my infamously hardworking host and cosplaying friend Tabitha “Artyfakes” Lyons, Women of Esports founder and journalist Saira Mueller, and Lottie Van Praag. You can listen to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, or find episodes for Android devices at acast.com/getfrank. I also need to get Sam “Tech Girl” Wright involved in a future episode – she’s a prominent host and caster from South Africa you may know from Overwatch Contenders Europe and CS:GO. Oh and Marissa Roberto – who is one of Canada’s most prominent voices in esports.

Despite the fact that there appears to be an infinite number of talented women in this industry, there is still a very vocal portion of the esports community who appear resistant to our existence. They overlook our resilience and focus on rating our looks, rejecting us not for our work ethic, but on their personal ideals. And I won’t deny that I want to look presentable on camera – that’s an element of the job – but I’m never intending to distract from the work I am actually doing; none of us are. Instead a mob mentality can ensue – kids behind keyboards bond by uniting in their angst at our involvement.

Laure Valée recently gave a very interesting, heartfelt interview to the Shotcaller YouTube channel at the LEC studios on this topic, revealing how the horrendous comments she had aimed at her during her time so far on the show had kept her awake at night and shattered her confidence. A few weeks earlier, in an eye-opening episode of the LEC podcast EUphoria, Sjokz and Froskurinn also discussed the treatment of women by esports viewers.

Both of these interviews struck a chord with me – hearing a community question my abilities (often before they’ve even seen me on a broadcast) has led me to various confidence problems in the past. Visiting HLTV during the IEM Katowice Major became a nightmare as I’d see negative forum posts about me pulled onto the front page as I checked out the latest headlines, while Reddit featured commenters calling me unprofessional (even before I made a joke of nicking a bit of pizza in the final week, which led to intense vitriol). As someone who puts the necessary hours of prep in, never misses their call time and treats production with the respect they deserve, it was comments like these that particularly struck a chord.

Something I’ve found at previous events is that I’ll go out of my way to prove my knowledge, when often my job is usually to ask questions – I don’t need to provide the information, I need to know how to find it. That’s not to say I don’t have insight, but it does mean I shouldn’t fret about what people think of me; my feedback should come from production and my peers, not people who aren’t on my team or paying my invoices. As that’s how jobs usually work, I’m going to apply it to my own occupation going forward; I think it’ll help with my performance in the long run.

It’s a hard thing to improve and grow in a role that is so public, and I am very grateful for the positivity that has been sent my way – from the women I’ve mentioned above, to the people who send me tweets to say they enjoyed my involvement in events such as IEM. This year, I hope I can support these women back – we’re stronger together, and this industry is stronger for having us in it.

LEC Week 8 kicks off on Friday March 8th at 5:30pm CET, and concludes at 4:30pm on Saturday 9th March Riot Games’ Twitch channel.

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Am I really just a token woman?

Tomorrow, I start my role as a reporter at the Intel Extreme Masters Katowice Major.

This will be the biggest esports event I’ve ever been part of. When I found out I had been booked, I was genuinely emotional; it’s less than a year since I decided to see if I could make full-time hosting work, and I never imagined people would be so welcoming. I’ve been given brilliant opportunities thus far, and do my best to work hard and justify people’s decisions to hire me.

I don’t think I’m hired solely because I’m a woman – and I definitely feel like I’ve proved myself as an asset to a broadcast line-up – but if I am, it doesn’t mean I’m going to do a bad job. And maybe, seeing my face in a line-up will encourage other women to aspire to be onscreen too.

That’s why it can be disappointing to see comments from people who don’t know who I am deciding that I’m just there to fill a quota, and that there’s no need to look at the reasons beyond that. Especially as there’s an awareness as a woman in this business that your performance could affect how other women are viewed; you’re not just representing yourself. So you work extra hard, because there’s an extra layer of responsibility.

Also, to be perfectly honest, it’s simply a lazy attempt at scoring points on social media to just post that, because you don’t know who I am (and I don’t expect you to), that I’m not capable of doing the job I’ve been hired for. (There’s a handful of last year’s credits on my agency’s website if you’re really concerned.) I can only win you over if you’re open to it.

The great news is, when I’m asked the common question “what’s it like being a woman in esports?” I get to speak highly of my colleagues and folks in this industry who have never made a thing about my gender, and have invited me to be part of their shows; I don’t get treated differently because of being female. And, when it comes down to it, tournament organisers are the ones who pay me, not Twitch Chat.

And so to tomorrow – I’ve researched as best as I can, and I’m hoping the nerves will help rather than hinder. To everyone who has believed in me, thank you. I’ll do my best not to let you down.

#PUBGChickenCarry – Thank You

On 30th September, the Twitch community raised over £3,000 for the mental health charity Mind as part of the #PUBGChickenCarry.

Despite a nervous week or two prior to the event, when me and over half the would-be carriers discovered I’d bloomin’ booked my event on the same weekend as the qualifiers for Twitchcon’s Broadcaster Royale (my bad), we managed to pull off an event that raised money and awareness – with over 3,000 viewers watching concurrently at the broadcast’s peak (thanks to a cheeky host from Sacriel).

PubgCarryAnnounce (1) final final

Without further ado, here’s a list of some of the incredibly generous people who helped me put the first ever #PUBGChickenCarry together…

The carriers… Scoom, Weefreemen, Annabanana_TV, Cyanide, MrTweeday, AndyPyro, Spamfish, Two Angry Gamers, Sacriel, Esquire, TechGirl, MrAlexDanger, Henry “BigTruck” Cartwright, and channel community members The Saiint, ThatHawko, Unas84, verity45, Zaramath and FreeloaderHS.

The hosters and raiders… there were a load of generous Twitch channel hosts from the community – so to each and every one of you – thank you so much. Raids from Sacriel, and TSM’s Rawryy and Break were particularly huge boosts for the stream.

The donators… from £5 to £200 – I can’t quite get my head around the generosity of you lot. (You can still read their messages and donate here.)

The designer and the coder… Nicholas Brigando put together the amazing promotional and overlay graphics together (see some of his work above), while my friend from Production.GG Adam Mumfrey created code to pull in the Just Giving donations into the overlay. (The wonderful Okaydrian also hooked me up with coder Ehsan Kia, who I hope I get to work with in the future – you two are ace.)

The sponsors and the platform… Dan Whittal – the EMEA community manager for PUBG, my agent Ben Woodward and the team at Code Red, and Amahni Evans from Twitch – your support means everything. Also, to Doug, who patiently read out 20 weapon skin key codes to me as I logged them into a spreadsheet for giveaways.

THE MOD SQUAD! Isobelle77, JT5ingh, QuantumDelta – ❤ ❤ ❤

The swag givers… Simms, Sacriel (what an MVP) and Simon.

To everyone who watched and spread the word… thank you.

(We had a laugh, didn’t we? Shall we do it again sometime…?)

Dealing with downtime

The Summer so far has been hectic so far…

…Or at least it was, until August. Suddenly I’ve found myself with a few weeks of respite (bar the odd shoot for the Nintendo Labo UK YouTube Channel or episode two of the Omen Esports Report)

After I got back from PGI (PLAYERUNKNOWN’S Battleground’s Global Invitational in Berlin) I was ready to keep running, until one day I wasn’t; I decided to record some voice lines as a favour to someone and then just stop. (And by stop, I mean playing video games offline, rather than on my Twitch channel.) In some ways, I was scared of a pause, in case I decided to extend it. However, I had a Google Keep list to keep up with, and so there were tasks awaiting my attention (“blog” has been written on it for ages).

At the start of this week, fresh from a wedding between two beautiful friends in Ludlow, where for once I managed to avoid checking my social media into the double figures, I felt myself coming down with something… But I also had eaten everything and anything I fancied for the past week; I needed to go to the world’s most strenuous gym class, prep a video pitch and stream. Then an early start on Tuesday for a Nintendo shoot in Britstol. Wednesday was for buying new hosting clothes (my word, the amount of clothes you need for events is astounding), prepping for gamescom and yoga. Sure, I felt a bit wobbly, but I’d just work through it, right?

It turned out Thursday would be for learning my lesson and croakily not being able to get out of bed… so apologising to my Twitch community for my absence, I propped myself up with a couple of pillows and finally got round to editing a vlog from PGI.

I wasn’t enjoying being ill, and yet… something about it gave me an added sense of urgency. Instead of doing the most urgent things on my to-do list, I was mopping up the bits I’d relegated into the unessential zone.

Case in point; it had taken me over two weeks to finally get down to editing and publishing my latest showreel. I had everything I needed – including relatively good health – but something always “cropped up”, until I silently pledged not to stream until it was done. In a way, it reminded me of those development tasks I had in previous jobs where I knew I could get it done, but pushed it back time and time again.

But feeling poorly… well now I was obliged to not do anything, and it sucked. I’m writing this on Friday, after another day of cold-angst and it still sucks. This isn’t like the old days of being ill, putting on an out of office and shutting out the world. (Freelancers everywhere – I get it now.)

So I made a deal with myself; rest today, and you may very well leave the flat by tomorrow evening. Amazon Prime has kept me firmly on the sofa for all ten episodes of UnReal series one. Running up and down the stairs has been kept to a minimum. By this evening I had decided some gameplay capture for a future video would be fine; but no voice chat. No audience. (And yes, I allowed myself to write this blog – because the only thing I love more than a to-do list, is crossing things off it.)

Hopefully the respite has worked its magic, and I’ll be right as rain tomorrow, or at least by next Tuesday – that’s when I head to gamescom, where I’ll be hosting the Omen Challenge PUBG tournament alongside ace casters wtfmoses and Matrym.

In fact, it’s especially important for this reason; when I decided to give full-time hosting a shot, gamescom was my first “milestone” to mark that I could do this for the long-haul. Being asked to go is a confirmation that I’m on the right path – but I’m also aware it’s one event, and the hard work will never be over… except for this week’s attempted pause – which may have turned out to be the hardest task of all!